Nikki DeBartolo & Benjamin Heldfond
How to Have a Happy Divorce
Most divorcing couples are good at the blame game. They cast their former partner as the villain and spend a lot of time stewing in bitterness and anger. But if that kind of ongoing adversarial relationship is not what you want for your kids, there is a way to clean up the wreckage of the past and build something new. There is a way to have a happy divorce.
Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond are the coauthors and coparents behind Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together. They are also the cocreators of Our Happy Divorce, a platform designed to empower people to think differently about divorce, coparenting, stepparenting, and what it means to put kids first.
On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Nikki and Ben join Katherine to explain how their definition of a happy divorce has evolved over time and discuss the process they went through to build the relationship they have today. They offer advice for divorcing couples who are struggling with forgiveness, describing how they make decisions based on what’s best for their son and why you can’t live in the past if you want a happy divorce. Listen in for Nikki and Ben’s insight on owning your role in a breakup and learn how to facilitate your own happy divorce!
How Ben & Nikki’s definition of a happy divorce has evolved over time
What prompted Ben to give up trying to destroy Nikki and pursue a happy divorce
Nikki’s experience at the end of her marriage to Ben
Ben & Nikki’s advice for divorcing couples who are struggling with forgiveness
Why Ben & Nikki had to forgive themselves first for the failure of their marriage
Why former couples can’t live in the past if they want a happy divorce
How Ben & Nikki make decisions based on what’s best for their son
The long process it took for Ben & Nikki to build the relationship they have today
Ben & Nikki’s principles of a happy divorce
- Forgive first
- Swallow the ego
- Be accountable
Connect with Nikki DeBartolo & Benjamin Heldfond
Connect with Katherine Miller
Call (914) 738-7765