Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce With Dr. Kristin Neff

EP: 166

Dr. Kristin Neff

Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce

Self-criticism is a natural response to divorce. But it’s not particularly helpful.

In fact, it’s harder to learn from a place of shame and judgement, whereas self-compassion helps us cope more effectively and make better choices moving forward.

A pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff currently serves as Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and coauthor of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive. Dr. Neff’s new release is Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Neff joins Katherine to explain how self-compassion helps us navigate painful experiences like divorce. She walks us through the three components of self-compassion, describing how the practice allows us to cope with the hurt and take responsibility for our mistakes. Listen in as Dr. Neff shares what she learned about self-compassion in her own divorce and learn to treat yourself with kindness and improve your wellbeing in the process of divorce. 

Topics Covered  

The 3 components of self-compassion (mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity)

Why people who are self-compassionate about divorce cope more effectively than those who beat themselves up 

How self-compassion helps us take personal responsibility for our mistakes

How mindfulness allows us to acknowledge the pain of divorce without getting lost in it

The power in realizing that challenging relationships are part of being human

Giving yourself honest, constructive feedback around how to make wiser choices moving forward

What Dr. Neff learned about herself and self-compassion in her own divorce

How self-compassion can help divorced parents navigate the holidays

How being compassionate to ourselves gives us the resources to be more compassionate to others 

How self-kindness activates the parasympathetic nervous system and improves decision-making 

Connect with Dr. Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion 

Dr. Neff on Facebook

Dr. Neff on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Take the Self-Compassion Test

Self-Compassion Guided Practices

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer 

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff