Prenuptial Agreements: A Framework for Conflict-Resolution with Mindy Utay

EP: 026

Mindy Utay

Prenuptial Agreements: A Framework for Conflict-Resolution

‘We are emotionally wired to avoid conflict. People sometimes have to be forced to—or have to be encouraged or coached to—and the prenup provides that opportunity because you really do have to sit down, roll up your sleeves, and start talking about what’s important to you.’

Mindy Utay is a psychotherapist in practice on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Her background in the law, social work, and psychoanalysis allows Mindy to support couples and families in identifying and resolving conflicts with courage and optimism. She is a coveted relationship expert and speaker on the topics of relationship conflicts, marriage, and parenting, and Mindy is a regular columnist for the Huffington Post.

Today, Mindy sits down with Katherine to offer insight around the contradiction of prenuptial agreements, explaining why it’s so challenging to consider the end of a relationship at the very beginning. She discusses the problems associated with the ‘moneyed spouse’ approaching a lawyer alone and shares her alternative approach to introducing the prenup within the larger context of the couple’s relationship. Listen in to understand the benefits of creating a prenuptial agreement and learn how the process can provide couples with a framework for conflict-resolution.

Topics Covered

Mindy’s insight on the contradiction of prenuptial agreements

The challenge around considering the end of a relationship at the very beginning

The benefits of establishing a prenuptial agreement

  • Plan in time when feel connected
  • Communicate about important issues
  • Framework for resolving conflict

The problems associated with the typical process of lawyers writing, emailing drafts

The value of discussing the prenup within the context of the relationship

Mindy’s relationship-as-foundation approach to discussing prenuptial agreements

How to create a safe environment and establish intimacy while discussing a prenup

Mindy’s take on our resistance to discussing the possibility of death

Why timing and tone are the most important factors in introducing a prenup

Connect with Mindy Utay

Mindy’s Website


Call (212) 744-6057



Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller


Call (914) 738-7765