Jackie Pilossoph

Working Through the 10 Emotional Stages of Divorce

Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. You might feel shock, fear, hope, sadness, gratitude and anger—and that’s just in one afternoon. So, what can you expect to feel as you move through the divorce process? And how can you work through those emotional stages with as much grace and dignity as possible?

Jackie Pilossoph is the Creator and Editor-in-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, an online divorce support community designed to empower and inspire women and men during and after divorce. A former television journalist with a Master’s in Communication, Jackie is committed to helping people navigate divorce with grace, courage and gratitude. She is also the author of the Better Magazine weekly column Love Essentially.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jackie joins Katherine to discuss the ten emotional stages of divorce, describing the initial shock divorcing couples feel and the sadness that accompanies the end of a relationship. She explains why getting lawyers involved can induce panic and anxiety and explores how anger can either be destructive OR drive us to make necessary change. Listen in for Jackie’s insight around the feelings of hope and empowerment you can expect as you work through the process and learn how to navigate the strong, conflicting emotions that come with divorce.

Topics Covered

How her own feelings of isolation inspired Jackie to write about divorce

The very strong, conflicting emotions you feel through the divorce process

Jackie’s insight around the ten emotional stages of divorce

1. Shock and disbelief
2. Sadness
3. Panic, fear and anxiety
4. Anger and resentment
5. Tinge of excitement and hope
6. Frustration
7. Gratitude
8. Acceptance
9. Empowerment
10. Peace

What couples can do to find their way through divorce and avoid a lawsuit

How anger can be destructive OR drive us to make necessary changes

The experiences that might offer us a feeling of empowerment in divorce

Why it’s crucial to be patient as you navigate a lengthy divorce process

Developing a sense of gratitude for what was good about your marriage

Jackie’s advice around who to talk to first if you’re considering a divorce

Connect with Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Girl Smiling

The Divorced Girl Smiling Group

Love Essentially

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

‘The Emotional Stages of Divorce Are Like a Roller Coaster Ride’ by Jackie Pilossoph

‘Going Through a Divorce? A Word That Will Keep You Out of the Garbage Chute’ by Jackie Pilossoph

The post Working Through the 10 Emotional Stages of Divorce with Jackie Pilossoph appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Dr. Steven Stosny

The Healing Power of Compassion

If you’re going through a contentious divorce, hurt and anger are par for the course. You may even believe that holding onto your rage is a show of strength. But the truth is, blame renders you powerless to your own emotions. What if I told you that true power—and the ability to heal—lies in your ability to choose compassion?

Dr. Steven Stosny is the creator of Compassion Power, an organization founded on the belief that people are, indeed, more powerful when they are compassionate. Dr. Stosny is also a renowned author and media consultant who has appeared on Oprah, CBS Sunday Morning, and CNN’s Talkback Live, among others. A leading expert in relationships, anger and abuse, Dr. Stosny has treated 6,000-plus clients and presented at professional conferences all over the world.

Today, Dr. Stosny joins Katherine to share his insight around the power of compassion, explaining how anger narrows your focus and limits your intellectual abilities. He discusses the concepts of compassionate assertiveness and emotional reconditioning, describing how blame eliminates your ability to heal, correct and improve. Dr. Stosny speaks to the underlying powerlessness felt by violent abusers and how victim identity strips away their ability to feel compassion. Listen in and learn several actionable strategies to help you let go of anger and resentment—and embrace your life.

Topics Covered

Why compassion is more powerful than anger or resentment

The concept of compassionate assertiveness

The difficulty of maintaining hostility toward someone who is compassionate

How focusing on the best interests of your children lends itself to compassion

How demonizing someone makes you lose touch with your deeper values

The narrow, rigid focus created by anger

How blame makes you powerless to your own emotions

The way in which confirmation bias supports blame

How to crowd out resentment with value creation

How Dr. Stosny came to understand the link between compassion and power

• Grew up in violent home with abusive father
• Mother taught that the violent feel powerless, lack compassion

The destructive nature of victim identity

The importance of focusing on what anger is doing to you

Dr. Stosny’s strategies around engaging your adult brain

• How can I make my experience a little better?
• Apply deeper values to guide behavior

The role of compassion as a healing emotion

Connect with Dr. Stosny

Compassion Power

Email compassionpower@compassionpower.com

Resources

Books by Dr. Stosny

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post The Healing Power of Compassion with Dr. Steven Stosny appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.