JoAnne Pedro-Carroll

How to Avoid Conflict & Coparent Well in Challenging Times

The Coronavirus has thrown us all for a loop, forcing us to take on multiple roles at once. Parents are struggling to work from home and homeschool our children at the same time, all while managing financial challenges and fears around the health and safety of the people we love. And divorced parents have the added pressure of coparenting in a time when our parenting plans just aren’t feasible. So, what can we do to avoid conflict with our ex and show up for our kids as the best possible version of ourselves?

Clinical psychologist Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll is an internationally recognized expert in the field of children and divorce, appearing regularly as a keynote speaker at conferences around the globe. She has 35 years of clinical experience helping families navigate the transitions that accompany divorce and often serves as a child specialist in the collaborative law process. JoAnne is also the bestselling author of Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce.

On this special edition of Divorce Dialogues, JoAnne joins Katherine to discuss the heightened stresses divorced parents are dealing with right now and encourage coparents who are struggling to reach out to a neutral third party. She explains why our brains tend toward fight, flight or freeze in circumstances like these and what we can do to respond rather than react—and be the kind of parent we really want to be. Listen in for JoAnne’s insight on seeing your ex as a respected colleague in the business of raising your children and learn how you can help your child build resilience and thrive through divorce AND quarantine.

Topics Covered

The stresses divorced parents are dealing with through COVID-19

• Emotions heightened in times of uncertainty
• Overwhelmed with managing multiple roles

What to do when one parent wants to follow the parenting plan but the other is fearful

Why it’s crucial to have a safe space for thinking through your options

The value of a neutral third party to facilitate problem-solving (e.g.: family counselor)

When our brains tend toward fight, flight or freeze + why that’s not optimal for collaboration

The relationship between self-care and our ability to be the kind of parent we want to be

Why asking for help is a sign of strength rather than weakness

Protecting your child’s health vs. trying to control your ex

Renegotiating your relationship with your ex as business partners in raising children

How conflict between parents adds to a child’s anxiety, fear and worry

The two most powerful predictors of a child’s resilience in divorce

1. Parents’ ability to contain conflict
2. Quality of parenting itself

Connect with JoAnne Pedro-Carroll

JoAnne’s Website

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, PhD

JoAnne on Divorce Dialogues EP035

The post How to Avoid Conflict & Coparent Well in Challenging Times with JoAnne Pedro-Carroll appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Jen Dorf

Responding to Conflict with Self-Compassion and Mindful Communication

If you’re in the middle of a hostile divorce, the very idea of having compassion for your former partner may be difficult to fathom. But what if you started with compassion for yourself? Holistic health coach Jen Dorf maintains that you can escape the conflict trap with a mindful approach to communication that models the way you want to be treated.

Based in Mamaroneck, New York, Jen is a nutrition and wellness coach with an expertise in mindful communication. She inspires clients to create daily sustainable habits that will revive their energy and power from within by bringing awareness to how they eat, move, rest and relate—to themselves and others. Jen trained at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition in Manhattan, and she is accredited by The American Association of Drugless Practitioners.

Jen sits down with Katherine to discuss the fundamentals of mindful communication. She explains how to use mindfulness to identify your patterns and triggers and shift your goals from being right to being happy. Jen speaks to the power of self-compassion, describing how loving kindness for yourself facilitates empathy for others. Listen in for Jen’s insight around the connection between food and mood and her approach to communicating in moments of conflict.

Topics Covered

Why self-compassion is the first step to mindful communication

• Pause, breathe
• Calm nervous system

Getting comfortable with silence

How mindfulness brings awareness to patterns, triggers

Why the stories you tell yourself may not be true

The value in modeling the behavior you want for yourself

How loving kindness toward yourself facilitates healing

Jen’s approach to responding in moments of conflict

• Practice empathy, curiosity
• Focus on well-being of children

The connection between food and mood

The importance of self-care

How to shift your focus from being right to being happy

The myth that compassion makes you weak

Connect with Jen Dorf

Jen’s Website

Resources

The Self-Compassion Skills Workbook: A 14-Day Plan to Transform Your Relationship with Yourself by Tim Desmond

Brené Brown

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post Responding to Conflict with Self-Compassion and Mindful Communication with Jen Dorf appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.