Evolution – Divorce Dialogues https://divorcedialogues.com A Podcast on Collaborative Divorce Fri, 13 May 2022 18:03:15 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.9.3 https://divorcedialogues.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/cropped-DivorceDialogues-Diamond-Favicon-1-32x32.png Evolution – Divorce Dialogues https://divorcedialogues.com 32 32 The Evolution of Marriage—and Divorce with Stephanie Coontz https://divorcedialogues.com/the-evolution-of-marriage-and-divorce-with-stephanie-coontz/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-evolution-of-marriage-and-divorce-with-stephanie-coontz https://divorcedialogues.com/the-evolution-of-marriage-and-divorce-with-stephanie-coontz/#respond Wed, 17 Oct 2018 01:00:45 +0000 https://divorcedialogues.com/?p=654 EP: 084 Stephanie Coontz The Evolution of Marriage—and Divorce Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate […]

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Stephanie Coontz

The Evolution of Marriage—and Divorce


Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate shared responsibilities. So, how can couples best navigate these new rules? And how does this transition impact societal attitudes toward divorce?

Stephanie Coontz is an author and educator in the field of marriage and gender relationships. She teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College and serves as Director of the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF). Stephanie has written seven books and published dozens of articles in scholarly journals and popular media, including The New York Times and the Journal of Marriage and Family, among many other publications. She has been honored with The Families & Work Institute’s Work-Life Legacy Award and CCF’s Visionary Leadership Award.

Today, Stephanie joins Katherine to discuss how marriage has evolved over time, explaining the shift from strict gender roles to a bond based on friendship. She describes how couples who share responsibilities of breadwinning, childcare and housework report higher levels of satisfaction and addresses the ways in which old attitudes undermine modern marriages. Stephanie also speaks to the importance of negotiation, gratitude and respect for each other’s bids for connection. Listen in to understand how the feminist movement disrupted the institution of marriage and learn how our rising standards have changed the factors that make a marriage last.

Topics Covered

How marriage has evolved from specialization to sharing

The way old attitudes undermine modern marriages

How sharing responsibilities leads to higher satisfaction

How to consider what’s attracting you to your partner

The role of bids for connection as a predictor of stability

Why modern marriage requires much more negotiation

How the feminist movement served as a disruptor

How our expectations for intimacy have shifted

The destructive nature of holding onto traditional views

The idea of gatekeeping in household/childcare duties

Why the way we fight with our partners is important

Stephanie’s insight around the economy of gratitude

Why attitudes toward divorce do NOT predict behavior

Connect with Stephanie Coontz

Stephanie’s Website

Council on Contemporary Families

Resources

Philip & Carolyn Cowan’s Research

Dr. John Gottman

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

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]]> https://divorcedialogues.com/the-evolution-of-marriage-and-divorce-with-stephanie-coontz/feed/ 0 Reframing Divorce as Evolution, Not Dissolution with Tara Eisenhard https://divorcedialogues.com/reframing-divorce-as-evolution-not-dissolution-with-tara-eisenhard/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=reframing-divorce-as-evolution-not-dissolution-with-tara-eisenhard https://divorcedialogues.com/reframing-divorce-as-evolution-not-dissolution-with-tara-eisenhard/#respond Wed, 15 Nov 2017 01:00:23 +0000 https://divorcedialogues.com/?p=571 EP: 060 Tara Eisenhard Reframing Divorce as Evolution, Not Dissolution There is a great deal of shame associated with divorce, and much of the language we use around the process has an incredibly negative connotation—no one wants to be responsible for a ‘broken’ home or family. But Tara Eisenhard argues that we are all continually […]

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Tara Eisenhard

Reframing Divorce as Evolution, Not Dissolution


There is a great deal of shame associated with divorce, and much of the language we use around the process has an incredibly negative connotation—no one wants to be responsible for a ‘broken’ home or family. But Tara Eisenhard argues that we are all continually learning and growing, and divorce doesn’t have to be about dissolution. It can be seen as evolution, the opportunity to move forward toward new goals.

Tara is a divorce coach and mediator on a mission to change the conversation about divorce in our culture. She also offers online courses and speaks at community events, sharing her GOOD Divorce Philosophy and inspiring a mindful approach to the process. Tara’s articles have been featured in DivorceForce, The Huffington Post and StepMom Magazine, among others. She is the author of The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s eyes as well as the Relative Evolutions blog.

Today, Tara joins Katherine to share her take on divorce as an opportunity to move forward. She discusses the principles of nonviolent communication, explaining how divorcing couples can leverage the technique to get out of the conflict trap and closer to their goals. Tara speaks to her own positive experience as a child of divorce, walking us through the things her parents did well and how they might have improved. Listen in for Tara’s insight on how we define success or failure in a marriage and how to reframe the process as evolution—rather than dissolution.

Topics Covered

Tara’s mission to reframe divorce as evolution, not dissolution

The way a new world opened up to Tara after her divorce

Tara’s work as a divorce coach

  • One-on-one coaching
  • Mediation services
  • Online courses
  • Speaking engagements

The similarities between physical and emotional wounds

The shame around the topic of divorce

The principles of nonviolent communication

  • Identify feelings and needs, offer empathy
  • Stop and consider goals in conflict scenario

How The D-Word serves as a tool for the whole family

Tara’s positive experience as a child of divorce

The value of a regular family meeting to facilitate dialogue

Tara’s GOOD Divorce Principles online course

  • Goals
  • Observations
  • Options
  • Dignity

How the landscape of divorce is changing

How we define success or failure in a marriage

Tara’s intention to help clients hear their own voice

Connect with Tara Eisenhard

Tara’s Website

Resources

The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes by Tara Eisenhard

The GOOD Divorce Principles Course

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

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