Karis Nafte

Who Keeps the Dog in a Divorce?

Pets are not property, nor are they quite the same as human children. So, how do you decide who gets to keep the dog in a divorce? And what if you have more than one animal? How do you do what’s best for your pets and the people involved?

Karis Nafte is the Pet Custody Specialist and Certified Family Mediator behind Who Keeps the Dog, a consulting practice that helps families with their pets through the divorce process. She has been working with dogs professionally since 1996, developing an expertise in obedience training, behavior problems, and on-set training for animals in film. Karis is passionate about mediating pet custody arrangements and providing behavior support for owners with dogs showing signs of stress pre- and post-divorce.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Karis joins Katherine to discuss the common mistakes people make with their pets in a divorce and explain why shared custody isn’t necessarily the best option for your dog—or you. She walks us through the factors to consider as you decide between shared and sole custody of your pet, describing why random, sporadic visits from an ex are stressful for your dog. Listen in for Karis’ insight on having kids and pets transition between parents together and find out why mediation is a much better option for your dog than letting a judge decide their fate.

Topics Covered

Why it’s a mistake to use your pet as leverage in a divorce

The harm in projecting your own feelings onto your dog in a divorce

How dogs can carry the same emotional weight as human children for divorcing couples

Why shared custody may not be the best option for your dog (or you)

The benefit of having kids and pets transition between parents together

What factors to consider as you decide between shared vs. sole custody of a pet

Why random, sporadic visits from an ex are not good for your dog

How to say goodbye to your dog when your ex is getting custody

What to do if the divorcing couple has more than one dog

Why mediation is a better option for your pet than litigation

Connect with Karis Nafte

Who Keeps the Dog

Karis on Instagram

Karis on LinkedIn

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Who Keeps the Dog in a Divorce? With Karis Nafte appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Sarah Hechtman

Process Choice: The How of Divorce Settlement

Once you’ve decided on divorce, the next step is to determine how you and your former partner will come to a resolution. Given that 97% of divorces in New York settle before a judge gets involved, it is in your best interests to explore the full spectrum of options and make an informed decision based on your particular circumstances. This is called process choice.

Sarah Hechtman is a trained collaborative lawyer and family mediator. Before practicing family law, Sarah worked as a civil rights lawyer, prosecuting class action cases on behalf of children through Children’s Rights and Advocates for Children of New York. She also served as an Assistant District Attorney in the New York County DA’s Office where she was a member of the Domestic Violence and Sex Crimes Unit. Sarah made the transition to family law in 2006, and since then she has handled complex divorce cases involving substantial financial assets as well as highly contested child custody cases. Sarah’s interest in the welfare of children coupled with her experience as a litigator led her to a commitment in helping clients resolve their family disputes outside the court system.

Today, Sarah joins Katherine to share the definition of process choice, discussing the full spectrum of options divorcing couples have regarding how they will settle. She explains the mediation model, walking us through the value a mediator adds as a neutral third-party. Sarah also speaks to collaborative law, describing the professionals who may be included in the process. Listen in for Sarah’s insight around the myth of ‘having your day in court’ and how collaborative law enables the parties involved to craft their own resolution.

Topics Covered

The definition of process choice

The full spectrum of paths to settlement

How the ‘kitchen table’ template works without representation

The value a mediator adds to the settlement process

• Big picture view
• Creative solutions
• Neutral third-party

Who is involved in three-way and five-way mediation meetings

The collaborative law model

The role of a divorce coach

The myth around having your ‘day in court’

The concept of attribution error

How collaborative law enables the parties involved to craft their own solution

The circumstances under which litigation may be appropriate

• Domestic violence
• Safety of child at risk
• Need discipline of court

Why the most highly contested cases involve mental illness

How the court system is designed to address the worst possible circumstances

• Wasteful dissipation of assets exemplar

Connect with Sarah Hechtman

Sarah at Miller Law Group

Sarah on LinkedIn

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post Process Choice: The How of Divorce Settlement with Sarah Hechtman appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.