Dr. Kathryn Smerling

Making the Holidays Magical for Your Children After a Divorce

The holidays are a particularly challenging time for divorced parents.

How do we navigate our own feelings of loss without passing that heartache onto our children? Can we create new traditions and still make the holidays a magical time for our kids?

Dr. Kathryn Smerling is an educator and psychologist with a Ph.D. from Fordham University and Master’s from Cornell. She started her career as an early childhood educator, creating the Instep curriculum for preschoolers in the State of New Mexico before completing the psychoanalytic program at the National Institute for Psychotherapies. Dr. Smerling has maintained a private practice as a family therapist in Manhattan since 1998, and she holds certificates in Divorce Mediation, Divorce Collaboration and Relational Therapy. 

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Smerling joins Katherine to explain what divorced parents can do to navigate feelings of loss during the holidays and find new ways to celebrate with their children. She discusses why it’s crucial for coparents to be collaborative and offers advice on how to approach holiday planning with a difficult ex-spouse. Listen in for Dr. Smerling’s insight around religion as a source of conflict for coparents during the holidays and learn how to talk to your children about creating new traditions after a divorce.

Topics Covered 

What divorced parents can do to navigate feelings of loss during the holidays

Dr. Smerling’s advice on finding new ways to celebrate the holidays after a divorce

Why it’s crucial for coparents to be flexible and collaborative re: holiday plans 

Why Dr. Smerling suggests including children in creating new traditions

The pros and cons of alternating holidays and examples of creative alternatives

How to approach holiday planning with a high-conflict ex-spouse

Using the BIFF system (Brief, Informative, Firm and Friendly) to communicate with a difficult coparent 

How religion can be a source a conflict for divorced parents around the holidays

The role a parenting coordinator can play in making holiday plans

Dr. Smerling’s advice for divorced parents facing the holidays for the first time

Connect with Dr. Kathryn Smerling

Dr. Smerling’s Website

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Resources

Ackerman Institute for the Family 

National Institute for Psychotherapies

The post Making the Holidays Magical for Your Children After a Divorce With Dr. Kathryn Smerling appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Risa Garon

Helping Children Build Resilience Through Divorce

Though most divorcing couples intend to put the best interests of their children first, their own emotions get in the way. So, how can divorced parents learn to prioritize their children’s needs and create a trusting and constructive co-parenting relationship? How can they help their kids build resilience in the aftermath of divorce?

Risa Garon is the Co-founder and Executive Director of the National Family Resiliency Center (NFRC), an organization that provides counseling and educational programs to help children and adults cope, heal and navigate through divorce and other family transitions. Risa is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Family Life Educator with nearly 30 years of experience helping separating, and divorced couples develop parenting plans that focus on the developmental needs of the children involved.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Risa joins Katherine to explain why it’s challenging for divorcing parents to put the best interests of their children first. She walks us through the four components of NFRC’s child-focused decision-making model, discussing how she considers what both parents want—but prioritizes the child’s needs. Listen in for insight on dealing with high-conflict parents and get Risa’s advice on minimizing stress over the holidays after a divorce.

Topics Covered

Why it’s challenging for divorcing parents to put the best interests of their children first

The four components of NFRC’s child-focused decision-making model

Risa’s insight on how to deal with parents in a high-conflict divorce

How Risa considers what both parents want but prioritizes their children’s needs

Training mental health professionals, judicial officers, attorneys and mediators to mitigate conflict

Risa’s advice for minimizing stress over the holidays post-divorce

Successful examples of incorporating old holiday traditions with new ones after a divorce

Why Risa encourages divorced parents to chip in on one gift rather than buying presents separately

What grieving parents can do on holidays they spend without their kids

Connect with Risa Garon

National Family Resiliency Center

Call (410) 740-9553

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Books by Risa Garon

The post Helping Children Build Resilience Through Divorce with Risa Garon appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.