Sam Margulies

The Myths of Litigated Divorce & the Benefits of Mediation

The parties in a litigated divorce spend years—and tens-of-thousands of dollars—preparing for a trial that is extremely unlikely to happen. This disconnect led to the development of mediation as an option, allowing divorcing couples to work toward settlement without spending unnecessary time and money in preparation for a trial that will never come to fruition. Are there other myths and misconceptions about the conventional litigation model? What are the benefits of mediation?

Sam Margulies is one of the most experienced mediators in the country, having facilitated settlements in hundreds of civil disputes and approximately four thousand divorces since 1980. Sam also has 35 years of experience training divorce mediators and conducting civil mediation training programs. He has served as Director of the Institute for Dispute Resolution of the Seton Hall Law School and taught graduate courses in mediation at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Sam is also the author of three books on divorce and mediation: Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life, A Man’s Guide to Civilized Divorce, and Working with Divorcing Spouses.

Today, Sam joins Katherine to discuss his experiences in the early days of mediation, explaining the impetus behind its development and the threat mediation posed to traditional litigators. He speaks to the public’s ignorance of settlement as the norm in divorce cases and the unnecessary cost of discovery in the conventional system. Listen in to understand why Sam recommends mediation as the first option for divorcing couples and learn how mediation seeks to create a system in which every family member can thrive.

Topics Covered

Sam’s experiences in the early days of mediation

The impetus behind mediation as an option

• Divorce cases prepared for trial
• Vast majority settle out of court

The Family Therapy Movement’s influence on mediation

The significant resistance to mediation from traditional divorce litigators

• Discussion around disbarment proceedings

The lack of data re: the percentage of couples who divorce through mediation

The ongoing negative sentiment litigators harbor toward mediation

Why the public is woefully ignorant about settlement as the norm

The unnecessary cost of discovery in the conventional system of divorce

How bad faith breeds and grows during the discover process

Why law is the only professional in which pessimism positively correlates with success

Sam’s recommendation that couples look at mediation as their FIRST option

How an understanding of settlement norms would lead to quicker resolution

• Equitable distribution, alimony norms, child support guidelines

Mediation’s objective to create a system in which every family member can thrive

Connect with Sam Margulies

Sam’s Website

Call (336) 669-3141

Resources

Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life by Sam Margulies

A Man’s Guide to Civilized Divorce by Sam Margulies

Working with Divorcing Spouses: How to Help Clients Navigate the Emotional and Legal Minefield by Sam Margulies

How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post The Myths of Litigated Divorce & the Benefits of Mediation with Sam Margulies appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Judge Sondra Miller

Nobody WINS in a Litigated Divorce

The vast majority of divorcing couples who choose litigation do so due to the misconception that the courts will protect them. The fact is, 97% of divorce cases in New York settle before they go to trial, and the judge is in no position to protect the 3% that do. The Honorable Sondra Miller spent 21 years in the court system, and she contends that divorcing couples are much better served by alternative dispute resolution processes such as mediation and collaborative divorce.

Judge Miller received her law degree from Harvard University in 1953. She was a Westchester County Family Court Judge for three years before her election to the New York Supreme Court in 1986. Judge Miller was appointed by Governor Mario Cuomo as a Justice for the Appellate Division in 1990 and commissioned by Chief Justice Judith Kaye to conduct hearings on the state of matrimonial law in New York in 2006. The resulting Miller Commission report prompted the passage of no-fault divorce the state.

Today, Judge Miller joins Katherine to discuss the limitations around what a judge can do to protect divorcing families, the substantial cost of resolving conflict through the court system, and the rare circumstances under which court is the most appropriate process. She explains the myriad of benefits associated with choosing a more humane alternative like mediation or collaborative divorce, outlining the fundamentals of each model and the other professionals that may be called upon to assist in the process. Listen in to understand why no one wins in a litigated divorce and learn how families are better served by alternative dispute resolution processes.

Topics Covered

The importance of informed voting in local elections for judges

How to get familiar with the qualifications of state supreme court candidates

The limitations around what a judge can do to protect divorcing families

Why Judge Miller suggests collaboration or mediation as a humane alternative

Why the attorneys involved in the collaborative process are motivated to settle

How mediators guide divorcing couples through financial and custody issues

Other professionals who may be involved in alternative dispute resolution

• Financial, mental health professionals

Judge Miller’s insight on the misconception that the court will protect you

The substantial cost of resolving conflict through the court system

The rare circumstances under which court is the most appropriate process

The expense/time it takes to appeal a custody determination that doesn’t work

How judges make decisions about issues of custody and visitation

The role of the forensic in reporting the emotional state of the parties involved

Connect with Sondra Miller

Judge Miller on Court Alert

Judge Miller at McCarthy Fingar

Resources

The League of Women Voters

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Nobody WINS in a Litigated Divorce with Judge Sondra Miller appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.