Nancy Colier

The Decision to Divorce: How Do You Know When It’s Time to Leave?

It goes without saying that the decision to divorce is not an easy one to make. For some couples, the back-and-forth goes on for years. Yes, it’s bad. But is it THAT bad? How do you know when it’s finally time to leave?

Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister and relationship coach. A student of Eastern spirituality, mindfulness practices serve as the foundation of her work. She is invited to speak regularly on the topics of wellbeing and mindfulness, and Nancy has been featured on Good Morning America, Fox and Friends and in The New York Times. She is also a regular blogger for Psychology Today and the Huffington Post and the author of several books, including Inviting a Monkey to Tea: Befriending Your Mind and Discovering Lasting Contentment.

Today, Nancy joins Katherine to discuss the individual nature of making the decision to divorce. She explains how high-functioning women develop coping strategies to numb the not okay-ness, how men tend to have less fear around finding another partner, and how extramarital affairs function to fracture the connection and create change. Nancy walks us through the questions to ask as we take inventory of our relationships and describes the value in finding the deep wound under the narrative we’re stuck in. Listen in for insight around expressing differences without blame and learn how to have a warrior’s heart that opens precisely when it’s wounded.

Topics Covered

The individual nature of making the decision to divorce

The value in taking an inventory of what you are/are not willing to give up

How high-functioning women develop coping strategies to numb the not okay-ness

The tendency for men to have less fear about finding another partner

The role of extramarital affairs in creating the fracture that will motivate change

The questions to ask yourself in the decision-making process

• What’s important to you? What’s non-negotiable?
• What are you willing to do without?
• What are you getting? What are you giving up?

Why expressing differences without blame is key in maintaining connection

How to be protective of your partner’s wounds without defending yourself

The challenge of opening your heart precisely in the moment you feel wounded

Connect with Nancy Colier

Nancy’s Website

Call (212) 316-6648

Nancy in Psychology Today

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post The Decision to Divorce: How Do You Know When It’s Time to Leave? with Nancy Colier appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Nancy Colier

A Mindful Approach to Divorce

How do you learn to be okay with not being okay?

In a culture where we’re taught to run from discomfort, it can seem like quite a feat to stop and take inventory of what’s true for us in a particular moment—especially if what we’re feeling is pain. But Nancy Colier argues that ‘company with our own experience IS the healing.’

Nancy is a psychotherapist and relationship coach whose work is grounded in mindfulness practices. She is the author of Inviting a Monkey to Tea: Befriending Your Mind and Discovering Lasting Contentment as well as The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World. A thought leader on the topics of wellbeing, mindfulness and technology, Nancy has been featured on Good Morning America and in The New York Times, Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

Today, Nancy joins Katherine to share the definition of mindfulness and explain what it means to bring mindfulness to divorce. She walks us through the process of communicating in a less reactive, more compassionate way by speaking the truth of our experience. Listen in for Nancy’s insight around the connection between attention and love and learn how our capacity to be empathic impacts our relationships.

Topics Covered

Nancy’s simple definition of mindfulness

What it means to bring mindfulness to the process of divorce

How to be okay with not being okay

How mindfulness helps us communicate in a less reactive way

How to stop the conflict dynamic by speaking with the word ‘I’

The danger in linking our freedom with changing another person

How to get out of the dialogue of blame

• Fight with reality, reality wins
• Acceptance brings choice

How we dodge intimacy with technology

The connection between attention and love

How the capacity to be empathic impacts our relationships

Nancy’s insight on seeing disparity as ‘another freaking growth opportunity’

Connect with Nancy Colier

Nancy’s Website

Resources

Inviting a Monkey to Tea: Befriending Your Mind and Discovering Lasting Contentment by Nancy Colier

The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World by Nancy Colier

Nancy’s Column in HuffPost

Nancy’s Column in Psychology Today

Books by Nancy Colier

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post A Mindful Approach to Divorce with Nancy Colier appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Nancy Colier

Maintaining Presence and Connection in a Virtual World

Is your phone more interesting than your husband?

75% of people say that technology seriously impacts their relationships. Thus, the very thing that is supposed to help us feel more connected is hindering our connections with the people who really matter—the ones right there in front of us.

In addition to her roles as a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, mindfulness teacher and relationship coach, Nancy Colier is the author of The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World. Nancy is a sought-after public speaker on the topics of wellbeing, mindfulness and technology, and she has been featured on Good Morning America and in The New York Times. She writes regular columns for Huffington Post and Psychology Today, and Nancy serves as a frequent guest on On Point Talk.

Today, Nancy joins Katherine to share the ways that technology brings out the least evolved aspects of ourselves. She explains the addictive nature of checking messages as well as the concept of phubbing, snubbing someone in favor of your phone. Nancy discusses how our expectations for relationships have changed based on the constant stimulation provided by technology and why we actually want to be pulled out of the present moment by our smartphones. Listen in for Nancy’s insight on leveraging mindfulness in the onslaught of technology and learn how to broach the subject of full presence with the people close to you.

Topics Covered

How our relationship with technology doesn’t support a ‘good life’

Technology’s dramatic impact on families and intimate relationships

How technology brings out the least evolved aspects of ourselves

• Comparison with others
• Narcissism

The addictive nature of checking messages

The concept of phubbing

How expectations for relationships have changed based on the constant stimulation of tech

Why people want to be pulled out of the moment

• Never have to deal with stillness, self
• Always something to pay attention to

How to leverage mindfulness in the onslaught of technology

The necessity of becoming more awake in our own lives

Nancy’s advice around broaching the subject of being fully present

Connect with Nancy Colier

Nancy’s Website

Resources

The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World by Nancy Colier

Nancy’s Column in HuffPost

Nancy’s Column in Psychology Today

Books by Nancy Colier

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post Maintaining Presence and Connection in a Virtual World with Nancy Colier appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.