Parental Alienation – Divorce Dialogues

Navigating the Waters of Parental Alienation with Dr. Amy J. L. Baker

Katherine Miller — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 01:00:12 +0000

EP: 077

Dr. Amy J. L. Baker

Navigating the Waters of Parental Alienation

If you are the targeted parent in a case of parental alienation, it is easy to default to defensiveness. But responding with righteous indignation is actually counterproductive, making you look anxious, agitated and afraid. So, how can you approach the situation in a constructive way that won’t further alienate your child—or the custody evaluator assigned to your case?

Dr. Amy J. L. Baker is a nationally recognized expert in parental alienation and the emotional abuse of children. She has written more than 115 publications including eight books on the topic of parent-child relationships, children of divorce and parental alienation syndrome. Dr. Baker serves as an expert witness and coaches parents dealing with alienated children and alienating co-parents. She is also the Director of Research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection. Dr. Baker holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Teachers College of Columbia University.

Today, Dr. Baker joins Katherine to discuss the ins and outs of parental alienation. She walks us through the four components that must be present for a situation to qualify as parental alienation and several of the behaviors kids exhibit in a ‘campaign of denigration.’ Dr. Baker shares her approach to addressing false accusations if you are the target of parental alienation, describing the value in approaching kids with compassion and empathy. Listen in for Dr. Baker’s advice on exhibiting humility with a custody evaluator and learn what to do if you’re the victim of parental alienation.

Topics Covered

The formal definition of parental alienation

The four components necessary to qualify as parental alienation

Prior positive relationship
Absence of abuse, neglect
Favored parent exhibits alienating behaviors
Kids exhibit behaviors unique to alienation

The characteristics of a ‘campaign of denigration’

How to approach a child making false accusations

Gratitude, compassion and empathy
Correct the lie and go back to compassion

How to gauge the intentionality of the favored parent’s behavior

What to do if you are the victim of parental alienation

The value in presenting yourself with humility to a custody evaluator

The need for training for legal professionals around parental alienation

The tendency for judges to support the status quo

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Navigating the Waters of Parental Alienation with Dr. Amy J. L. Baker appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Developing Radar for High-Conflict Personalities with Bill Eddy

Katherine Miller — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 01:00:11 +0000

EP: 064

Bill Eddy

Developing Radar for High-Conflict Personalities

If you divorced someone with a high-conflict personality, you may be concerned about repeating the same cycle in your next partnership. What steps can you take to reflect on the dynamics of your relationships and develop radar for people with high-conflict personalities?

An international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities, Bill Eddy is the co-founder and Training Director of the High Conflict Institute. In addition, he is a Certified Family Law Specialist and Senior Family Mediator with the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Bill has written several books, including Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to ‘The One’ Who Will Make Your Life Hell and 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities.

Today, Bill joins Katherine to share the four warning signs for people with high-conflict personalities. He explains how high-conflict people can jam your radar with fake compatibility and how to leverage your friends and family for insight. He addresses why you should finish grieving the loss of a previous relationship before committing to new one, describing the danger in using a relationship to feel okay about yourself. Listen in to understand why people commit to relationships with high-conflict personalities despite the red flags, how to identify behaviors exhibited by high-conflict people, and how to manage high-conflict personalities if you can’t avoid them entirely.

Topics Covered

The four warning signs for people with high-conflict personalities

All-or-nothing thinking
Unmanaged emotion
Extreme behavior
Preoccupation with blaming others

How high-conflict people can jam your radar with fake compatibility

The value in asking friends and family for their insight on your partner

Why you must finish grieving a loss before committing to a new relationship

Why Bill recommends waiting at least a year before committing to marriage

The reasons why people commit to relationships despite red flags

The five types of high-conflict people who can ruin your life

Narcissists, sociopaths, borderline, histrionic and paranoid

The extreme behaviors exhibited by people with high-conflict personalities

How to manage high-conflict people if you can’t avoid them altogether

Connect with Bill Eddy

High Conflict Institute

National Conflict Resolution Center

Resources

Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to ‘The One’ Who Will Make Your Life Hell by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter

5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities by Bill Eddy

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Developing Radar for High-Conflict Personalities with Bill Eddy appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Understanding Parental Alienation with Charlie Jamison

Katherine Miller — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 01:00:06 +0000

EP: 027

Charlie Jamison

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is a high-stakes game with serious, long-term consequences for the children involved. When a child is manipulated into showing unwarranted fear or hostility toward the targeted parent and used as a pawn in one parent’s agenda against the other, it alters their sense of reality and normalizes deceit in the context of relationships. What causes a parent to put their child in this position?

Board Certified Marital and Family Law attorney Charles Jamieson has been protecting parental and family rights for the past 37 years. As lead legal consultant to individuals with divorce issues in more than 20 states, Mr. Jamieson has developed a wealth of experience in the field of family law services and collaborative family law, and he is respected among child support lawyers, domestic violence attorneys, and divorce attorneys alike in his home state of Florida.

Today, Charlie sits down with Katherine to discuss the spectrum of parental alienation, explaining why cases of extreme alienation are difficult to treat with traditional therapy. He shares case studies of extreme parental alienation and describes how the practice impacts the child long-term. Charlie makes the distinction between estrangement and alienation, offering insight around how to identify when a child is being programmed. Listen in to understand why children will lie to earn the victor parent’s approval and get Charlie’s advice on what to do if you are the target of mild alienation.

Topics Covered

The definition of parental alienation

Why extreme alienation is difficult to treat with traditional therapy

Case studies of extreme parental alienation

How parental alienation alters a child’s fundamental sense of reality

How to identify when a child is being programmed by the alienating parent

The idea of frivolous rationalizations (i.e.: I don’t feel safe because Dad yells)

The distinction between estrangement and alienation

How brittle parenting can be remedied with coaching, therapy

The concept of alignment with a divorcing parent

How escalating tensions in litigation can lead to baseless abuse allegations

Why children will lie to earn the approval of the victor parent