Annie J. Allen

Why You Need a Post-Divorce Healing Retreat

Has your divorce left you exhausted and longing to get away from it all? 

When a marriage ends, most people are physically and emotionally drained. After all the chaos, a week zoning out on a beach in the sun somewhere sounds just about perfect. But what if you could combine a relaxing retreat with intentional practices designed to help you process your feelings?

After her divorce, Annie Allen shifted from her former training as a Certified Marriage and Family Counselor to Certified Divorce & Life Transition Coaching®. Now she helps people through private and group coaching, her Starting Over Stronger Divorce Survival & Recovery podcast, and specialized post-divorce healing retreats. 

On this episode of the podcast, Annie joins Katherine to share how post-divorce healing retreats offer structured activities, designed to help participants find closure so healing can begin.

Topics Covered

What is a post-divorce healing retreat

Why do people need to heal post-divorce

The secret insight that leads to therapy success

When marriage therapy offers the best chance to heal a relationship

How a structured post-divorce retreat helps to bring about emotional healing

Why intentional rest helps you hear your innermost self

The key that helps people find peace during a healing retreat

How to gain the strength and clarity to set boundaries and effect change

The most important part of a post-divorce healing retreat

Connect with Annie Allen

Starting Over Stronger

Starting Over Stronger on Facebook

Starting Over Stronger Divorce Survival & Recovery Podcast

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

SOS Retreat in November 2022

The post Why You Need a Post-Divorce Healing Retreat With Annie J. Allen appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Janine Sarna-Jones

Organizing a Space to Support Your Best Self Post-Divorce

Let’s face it: We are emotionally attached to our stuff. During major life transitions like divorce, downsizing, or dealing with a death in the family, that attachment is exacerbated by the emotional upheaval that accompanies change. How can a professional organizer help you learn to ‘treasure hunt’ rather than just keep things for the sake of keeping them? And how do you design a space to support the person you are becoming in the aftermath of these key life transitions?

Janine Sarna-Jones is the founder and president of Organize Me Inc., a firm that offers moving and relocation, hands-on organizing and estate clearance services. She has been helping people get organized at home and at work for 26 years, and her client roster includes corporate executives, small business owners, moms, artists and nonprofit organizations. Janine is a member of the inaugural class of Certified Professional Organizers, and she has been featured on radio, in print and online as a member of Parenting magazine’s Mom Squad.

Today, Janine joins Katherine to share her objective, non-judgmental approach to organizing for a move, explaining how she supports her clients through major life transitions. She walks us through the first steps of her process, from determining the scope of a project to preparing for a move or reorganization. Janine addresses the emotional upheaval that comes with every major life transition, discussing why clients look to her for permission to let go. Listen in for insight around reclaiming a space in the aftermath of divorce and learn how to design an environment that supports the person you are becoming!

Topics Covered

Janine’s objective, non-judgmental approach to organizing for a move

The value of a professional with no emotional attachment to our stuff

How Janine supports clients emotionally through major life transitions

Janine’s first step to determine the scope of a project

How Janine’s team helps clients make choices around what to keep

Janine’s philosophy around keeping things that really are meaningful

How a good organizer coaches clients through the process

The emotional upheaval that comes with every life transition

Why clients look to Janine for permission to let go

What it means to be a certified professional organizer

Janine’s approach to reorganizing a single room

How Janine supports divorcing clients in reclaiming a space

• ‘Organize for person they are becoming’
• Action plan to break into smaller steps

The importance of designing a space to support your best self

Connect with Janine Sarna-Jones

Organize Me Inc.

Organize Me on Twitter

Organize Me on Facebook

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Organizing a Space to Support Your Best Self Post-Divorce with Janine Sarna-Jones appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Deb Purdy

Rewriting Your Post-Divorce Storyline in 7 Simple Shifts

It is easy to get attached to your victim story and blame your ex for the fact that your marriage went up in flames. But there is a better way to approach divorce: It is possible to see it as a new beginning, an opportunity to learn about yourself and reinvent your life. So, how exactly do you learn to shift your thinking and rewrite your post-divorce storyline?

Deb Purdy is a transformational coach, speaker, author and workshop leader. She is also the creator of My Divorce Recovery Kit and the author of Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter & Happier After Divorce. In the book, Deb shares the process she employed to successfully transition out of her own 10-year marriage and eventually create a collaborative co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband.

Today, Deb sits down with Katherine to share the 7 shifts that helped her see divorce as a new beginning and thrive in its aftermath. She walks us through her transformation from feeling like a victim to taking ownership of her life and explains how she used the experience as an opportunity for personal growth. Listen in for Deb’s insight around rewriting your destructive post-divorce storyline and learn how to choose gratitude—and revisit it every day!

Topics Covered

Deb’s realization that her divorce could signal a new beginning

Deb’s transformation from feeling victimized to taking ownership

The 7 shifts Deb leveraged to gain strength from her divorce

1. Foundational shift
2. Shift intentions
3. Shift your story
4. Shift view of ex
5. Shift conversation
6. Kids are shifters too
7. Shift on

How to use divorce to identify how you show up in relationships

The value in rewriting your destructive post-divorce storyline

The challenge of teaching your friends and family how to support you

Deb’s vision of what she wanted her relationship with her ex to look like

Deb’s insight around setting the intention to learn about yourself

Connect with Deb Purdy

Deb’s Website

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter & Happier After Divorce by Deb Purdy

The post Rewriting Your Post-Divorce Storyline in 7 Simple Shifts with Deb Purdy appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Jill Murray & Adam Dodge

The Legal and Emotional Intersection of Divorce

Making the decision to end a marriage is stressful enough. But for those women who have been misled or misinformed about their legal rights, it may not feel like they have any choice at all. There is so much overlap between the emotional and legal aspects of divorce, women need guidance that encompasses both elements of the process.

Jill Murray is one of the nation’s leading experts on unhealthy relationships. She has appeared on CNN, Dr. Phil, The Today Show and Good Morning America. Adam Dodge is a former divorce attorney who now serves as Legal Director of Laura’s House, an emergency shelter for women and children fleeing domestic violence. Together, Jill and Adam wrote The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Divorce, a resource to help women navigate the decision to end a marriage, the legal and emotional components of the process, and the challenges of the aftermath.

Today, Jill and Adam join Katherine to discuss the intersection between the legal and emotional aspects of divorce. Jill explains how she conceived of the idea for The Empowered Woman’s Guide… and how it serves as a tool for therapists, lawyers and women considering divorce. Adam shares how he came to work with victims of domestic violence, his role in providing women with accurate legal information, and the important idea of ‘actions as evidence.’ Listen in for insight around the idea of love as a behavior, not just a feeling, and how to approach safely collecting information about your financial situation as you consider divorce.

Topics Covered

How Jill conceived the idea for The Empowered Woman’s Guide…

The intersection between the emotional and legal aspects of divorce

What led Adam to work with victims of domestic violence

Adam’s shift to empowering clients to represent themselves

Jill and Adam’s seamless writing process

How the book affords choice to women considering divorce

The subjects and opportunities to explore post-divorce

Adam’s role in providing women with accurate legal information

How the book functions as a resource for therapists and lawyers

The feelings of loss and fear experienced by men in the divorce process

The idea of ‘actions as evidence’

Jill’s insight around love as a behavior, not just a feeling

Collecting accurate data related to finances, laws in your jurisdiction

How children deserve two emotionally healthy parents

Connect with Jill Murray & Adam Dodge

Empowered Woman’s Divorce Website

Empowered Woman’s Guide… on Facebook

Jill’s Website

Adam’s Website

Resources

The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Divorce  by Jill Murray and Adam Dodge

Laura’s House

Books by Dr. Jill Murray

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post The Legal and Emotional Intersection of Divorce with Jill Murray & Adam Dodge appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Paul Ross

Can You Profit from Divorce?

Divorce is a source of trauma. The process is stressful and emotional. Yet it’s also an opportunity. After a settlement has been reached, you can pursue new ambitions, creating a renewed vision for your life moving forward. With the right attitude and preparation, it is possible to profit from the experience.

In 2006, Paul Ross’ marriage of 25 years ended. In the five long years it took Paul and his ex-wife to reach a settlement, he applied his business background to the situation and designed a ten-point plan to help him navigate the process. That blueprint included an approach to controlling costs and recovering wealth as well as a plan to rebuild his life and explore new opportunities once the divorce was final.

Paul’s ten-point plan eventually became a book, How to Profit from Your Divorce. Today, he joins Katherine to explain how his family values were strengthened during the process as Paul and his daughter discovered a new bond. He shares the benefits of sharing your expectations with your ex-spouse, exploring all of your available options, and remaining constructive throughout the process. Paul speaks to the financial aspects of divorce, including the challenge of avoiding debt and ensuring that there are no surprises when it comes to legal costs. Listen in and learn how to reframe divorce as an opportunity to create a new vision for your life and to engage in new interests and aspirations.

Topics Covered

How Paul leveraged his corporate background to navigate divorce

Paul’s determination to remain positive through the process

How Paul discovered a new bond with his daughter

The opportunity to take stock and determine a new path after divorce

Paul’s ten-point plan for prevailing through the divorce process

The value of sharing your expectations with your ex-spouse

Paul’s advice around considering all available options (i.e.: mediation, DIY)

How to ensure there are no surprises when it comes to the costs incurred

The mistakes Paul made in allowing hostility to move into the process

The importance of determining new goals and ambitions post-divorce

What motivated Paul to write How to Profit from Your Divorce

• Costs can get out of control
• Help legal professionals understand anxieties
• Improve legal system

The three meanings of ‘profit’ in the title of Paul’s book

Paul’s strategies for remaining constructive during divorce

• Respect, appreciate each other’s expectations
• Keep emotions at bay

Connect with Paul Ross

Paul’s Website

Paul on LinkedIn

Paul on Twitter

Resources

How to Profit from Your Divorce by P. A. Ross

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post Can You Profit from Divorce?- with Paul Ross appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Jodi Topitz

Redesigning Your Living Space Post-Divorce

No matter the circumstances, divorce is intensely emotional, and we tend to focus on the internal journey of people navigating the process. But what about the externals? The space where we live and the objects we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on the way we feel—and designing a new space or reclaiming an old one can go a long way to helping people move on with their lives post-divorce.

Jodi Topitz is the founder of we2me, a unique interior design firm for divorcing couples and families in transition. Jodi supports clients in reclaiming their current home or moving to a new space, creating an uplifting environment and restoring a sense of permanency in their lives. Jodi discovered the healing impact of color and design in the aftermath of her own divorce, and she is passionate about connecting people to their space in a way that helps them achieve serenity and move forward.

Today, Jodi sits down with Katherine to talk about the value of creating a comforting environment, especially in the aftermath of a divorce. She discusses the emotional attachment we feel to certain objects and how color can serve as an instant mood-altering tool. Jodi shares her process, from assessing the items her clients have to deciding what goes and what stays to determining a color palette. Listen in for Jodi’s insight on why children need to feel at home with both parents and how our physical space impacts the way we feel internally.

Topics Covered

The value in creating a comforting environment

How design can restore your sense of permanency

The emotional attachment to objects we carry with us

The importance of the bedroom as a sanctuary

How color functions as a mood-altering tool

Jodi’s process of working with divorcing clients

• Assess items they have
• Make decisions based on size
• Determine color palette, placement

How Jodi works within the client’s budget

The way our physical space impacts how we feel internally

Jodi’s insight on the ideal time to engage her services

The significance of children feeling at home with both parents

How Jodi designs children’s rooms to make them feel safe

Connect with Jodi Topitz

we2me

Call (973) 985-4386

Resources

Princeton TV

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Redesigning Your Living Space Post-Divorce with Jodi Topitz appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Shireen Meistrich

The Unique Emotional Journey of Divorce

Divorce is a difficult emotional journey, regardless of the circumstances. But in most cases, the divorcing partners are in very different places along that journey. The person leaning out has likely been thinking about ending the marriage for a long time, while the other is a bit of a ‘deer in headlights’ and needs time to catch up emotionally. What role can a divorce coach play in helping the couple navigate this common disconnect?

Shireen Meistrich is the President of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, and she has served on the leadership team of the Collaborative Divorce Association of New Jersey since 2007. Shireen has spent the last ten years working as a collaborative divorce coach, helping families increase communication and decrease conflict through the alternative dispute-resolution process. She is skilled in managing the emotional hurdles that present as obstacles toward an effective resolution.

Today, Shireen sits down with Katherine to share her ‘train station’ analogy, explaining how common it is for the initiator to be much further along in the emotional journey of divorce. She discusses the very serious nature of the decision to divorce and the reason why she recommends discernment therapy before couples make the final decision. Shireen walks us through her approach to determining the needs of her clients, describing what the transformational process can look like and how to honor the emotional journey while working toward a resolution. Listen in for insight around effectively communicating your needs and wants during the divorce process and developing a successful co-parenting relationship.

Topics Covered

The emotional disconnect between the person leaning in vs. leaning out

The family counselor’s role in helping couples make the decision to divorce

The very serious nature of the decision to divorce

How Shireen honors the history of a divorcing couple’s marriage

How discernment therapy helps a couple see if there’s any viability to the marriage

How Shireen determines the unique needs of her clients

What a transformational process looks like in the collaborative divorce setting

• Let go of marital conflict dynamic
• Develop healthy co-parenting relationship

The challenge of transitioning to a healthier place during a time of heightened anxiety

The balance between mining the emotional journey and reaching a respectful resolution

How to communicate your needs and interests effectively during the divorce process

What a successful post-divorce co-parenting relationship looks like

• Demonstrate respect for each other
• Seamlessly follow plan (e.g.: sit together at events)

Shireen’s advice around having patience and respect for your former spouse

Connect with Shireen Meistrich

Shireen’s Website

Call (201) 791-1560

Resources

International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

Collaborative Divorce Association of New Jersey

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post The Unique Emotional Journey of Divorce with Shireen Meistrich appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Janet

Advice from Adult Children of Divorce

‘[The conflict] was so contentious on a regular basis, there was no room for the children—and that’s the danger.’

The sad truth is that divorcing parents embroiled in conflict are often so wrapped up in their own pain that they fail to protect their children. This was true for Janet, an adult child of divorce who continues to feel the impact of the tension, hostility and destruction that marked the end of her parents’ relationship.

Today, Janet sits down with Katherine to share her difficult experience as a child of divorce. She describes the shame she felt around the ‘failure’ of her family and the impact of her parents’ lack of control on Janet and her siblings. She relates the all-consuming pain she experienced during her parents’ divorce, the lifelong consequences of destructive behavior felt by children of divorce, and how the process informs her conduct now that she is a wife and mother herself. Listen in for Janet’s insight on maintaining and articulating respect for your ex-spouse and creating an environment where your children feel safe.

Topics Covered

The lack of control demonstrated by Janet’s parents during the divorce process

How Janet recognized her parents’ issues when she was only ten years old

The tendency for children of divorce to blame themselves

The shame Janet felt about the ‘failure’ of her family

Janet’s insight around articulating the positive aspects of your relationship

• Avoid saying bad things, putting children in middle
• ‘We will always care about each other’

The lifelong consequences of destructive behavior on children of divorce

The all-consuming pain and sadness Janet experienced during her parents’ divorce

Janet’s determination to ensure that her children feel supported and loved

Janet’s advice for divorcing parents around remembering the initial bond between you

How Janet’s childhood identity was caught up in her family

How Janet’s parents negotiated the terms of their divorce

The concept of ‘bird nesting’ as an alternative to kids moving between parents

Janet’s parents’ inability to attend events together post-divorce

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765

The post Advice from Adult Children of Divorce appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.