Telling the Story of Your Divorce
In the midst of difficult life transitions like divorce, it is human nature to reach extreme, self-defeating conclusions: I’m incapable of love! All men are sociopaths! The world is unspeakably cruel! How can we take a closer look at what happened in our relationship and expand the narrative to something a little more nuanced, a little more balanced, a little closer to the truth? One strategy that works is to tell the story of your divorce in writing.
Steve Friedman is the award-winning author of seven books, and his essays on relationships have appeared in anthologies like Modern Love and The Bastard on the Couch. Steve’s work has appeared in a number of national publications, including Esquire, GQ and The Washington Post, and he was the writer of the first Modern Love column in The New York Times. Steve teaches the popular writing course Divorce, Breakups and New Beginnings: Telling Your Story through the organization UNtied.
Today, Steve joins Katherine to discuss how writing helps people make difficult life transitions. He explains how the demands of storytelling impose order in a chaotic world and afford us a more nuanced perspective of divorce. Steve also shares the value of exploring separation in the context of a writing workshop and walks us through some of the exercises he uses to examine a story from different perspectives. Listen in for insight around what Steve has learned about love through teaching and writing about relationships and learn how telling the story of your divorce can help you move forward!
How writing helps people make difficult life transitions
Using storytelling to impose order in a chaotic situation
Why women are more inclined to take writing classes
The value of exploring divorce in a workshop setting
The ground rules of Steve’s divorce writing workshop
- No judgement
- Accountable for telling truth
Creating space to reach new conclusions with writing
The cathartic nature of journaling through difficult times
Exercises for seeing a narrative from different perspectives
Steve’s surprise at the blame women take on in divorce
The relief that comes from realizing you’re not alone
Why instant chemistry doesn’t ensure a happy marriage
Steve’s insight that no one is the ANSWER for anyone else
Connect with Steve Friedman
Connect with Katherine Miller
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Call (914) 738-7765