The Benefits of Coaching for Divorcing Dads with Richard Heller

EP: 070

Richard Heller

The Benefits of Coaching for Divorcing Dads


Many dads of divorce fear that they will be completely cut off from their children. They may also have difficulty navigating the shift in their relationships with both their kids and their co-parents in the aftermath of divorce. How can a coach support men in managing their feelings and developing the best possible bonds with their children?

Richard Heller is the Founder and Lead Coach with Separate with Sanity, a coaching program that helps people in dysfunctional marriages get clarity around their values and divorce in a way that is respectful, recognizing that a shared responsibility to the family does not end with the marriage. Richard has enjoyed a 35-year career as an entrepreneur, and his experiences as the child of divorce, the husband in a divorced marriage, and the husband in a successful marriage that has nurtured five children make him uniquely qualified to support people in redefining their relationships in a way that works better for everyone involved.

Today, Richard joins Katherine to discuss his work in helping dads improve their relationships with both their children and their co-parents. He explains how to identify the triggers that bring on a feeling of fear, measure when you’re overreacting, and manage your responses. Richard addresses the need for dads to shift their relationship with children after a divorce, describing how to ‘play both sides of the court’ and get involved in your child’s social life. Listen in to understand what differentiates coaching from other modalities like therapy and counseling and learn how a divorce coach might support you in achieving the best possible relationship with your children moving forward!

Topics Covered

The way communication issues persist in the aftermath of divorce

Richard’s work to help dads improve their relationships with children

How to identify and manage your reaction to triggers

How to measure when you’re overreacting to a trigger

The most common fear of dads around being cut off from children

Richard’s advice for dads on becoming a player in your child’s social life

The challenge of eliciting buy-in from a co-parent as roles shift

The long-term, ongoing nature of the co-parenting relationship

What differentiates coaching from therapy, counseling and mentoring

Why hopelessness is not a good posture for forward motion

The focus of coaching on learning to deal with circumstances

How coaching can benefit divorcing couples involved in litigation

The disparity of experience between people divorcing and attorneys

Connect with Richard Heller

Separate with Sanity

Email rich@separatewithsanity.com

Call (917) 309-9045

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765