Unlocking Your Destructive Cycle to Stop the Fight
Though the details are different, most couples argue about the same old issues: Money. Sex. Household responsibilities. But the true root of the problem stems from the feelings of hurt that inspire a defensive reaction and perpetuate a destructive cycle of conflict. So, how do you stop the fight? Is there a better way to respond to hurt that will allow you and your partner to engage in solving the problem together?
Michelle Brody is a clinical psychologist and couples coach who specializes in resolving relational conflict. With 20-plus years in the practice, Michelle is dedicated to helping couples unlock their destructive cycles and implement a more productive communication style. She is also the author of Stop the Fight: How to Break Free From the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts.
Today, Michelle joins Katherine to share some of the most common arguments between couples discussed in her book, Stop the Fight. She explains the elemental social threats that ignite our fight-or-flight instincts and offers her take on the complexity of defining ‘right and wrong’ in polarized arguments. Listen in for Michelle’s insight around recognizing your contribution to a defensive pattern, choosing a core response, and recruiting your partner to engage in solving the issue together.
Michelle’s insight on the most common arguments between couples
How to identify the patterns of conflict communication
The elemental social threats that ignite our fight-or-flight instincts
Why both partners must be engaged in changing the dynamic
Michelle’s take on the complexity of ‘right and wrong’ in polarized arguments
The significance of recognizing your contribution to a volatile fight
How to choose a core response to hurt over a defensive response
The difference between intention and impact
The first steps in changing the dynamic of a contentious relationship
- Recognize defensive patterns as emerge
- Recruit partner to engage in joint problem
Connect with Michelle Brody
Call (914) 707-0729
Connect with Katherine Miller
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Call (914) 738-7765