Ann Papayoti

Grief, Gratitude, and Helping Children Navigate Divorce

Divorce is hard. The emotions of the breakup colliding with the legal business is a lot for people to manage mentally. What’s really complicated is when people get too wrapped up in their divorce and fail to see their children’s pain.

But what is the best way to talk to children about divorce? What do they struggle with the most throughout the separation process?

Ann Papayoti is an international life, leadership and relationship coach, as well as a speaker, educator, and co-author of The Gift of Shift, an intimate self-help book about creating a new outlook on life. She is the founder of SkyView Coaching, where she helps people rise above their most challenging moments so they can thrive once again.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Ann joins Katherine to explain the four main things children really want from their parents after a divorce. They discuss the complicated emotions children feel and how parents can make it as easy as possible for their kids to navigate a divorce.

Listen in as Ann shares her experience with divorce that led to becoming a life coach, the relationship between grief and gratitude, and the importance of becoming your own best friend. 

Topics Covered

The difference between a divorce coach and a breakup coach

Keeping the emotion of the breakup out of the business of the divorce

The 4 things children want from their parents after a divorce

How parents often fail to show up for their kids emotionally after a divorce

The importance of communication between the child and the parent during and after the separation between the two parents

How children end up in the middle of the communication between parents getting divorced

The relationship between grief and gratitude

Ann’s book and her personal experiences with divorce, grief, and becoming her own best friend

Dealing with betrayal and the importance of trusting yourself

Connect with Anne Papayoti

SkyView Coaching

SkyView Coaching on Facebook

Ann on Twitter

Ann on Instagram

Ann on LinkedIn

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Free Gift from SkyView Coaching

The Gift of Shift: Discover the Key Within to Unlock Your Best Life by Tracey MacDonald and Ann Papayoti

The post Grief, Gratitude, and Helping Children Navigate Divorce With Ann Papayoti appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Terry Gaspard

Maintaining Friendships After a Divorce

Why is it that some friendships don’t survive divorce? 

When a marriage ends, some friends feel like they have to take sides. Others are overwhelmed and simply don’t know what to say. But if you’re willing to move through a little awkwardness, you can keep the friendships that matter to you after a divorce.

Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed therapist with an expertise in supporting children, adults, couples and families through divorce recovery. She is also the founder of Moving Past Divorce and author of The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, the 2020 winner of the American Book Fest’s Best Book Award for Self-Help: Relationships. 

On this episode of the podcast, Terry joins Katherine to share the four key reasons why some friendships don’t survive a divorce. She discusses the common misunderstanding that life is ruined by divorce, describing what it looks like to reclaim aspects of yourself that you abandoned in an unhappy marriage. Listen in for Terry’s insight on finding a new partner post-divorce (without repeating the same mistakes) and learn how to maintain the friendships that are important to you after a divorce.

Topics Covered 

How Terry got interested in the work of divorce recovery and remarriage

The common misunderstanding that your life is ruined by divorce

What it looks like to reclaim aspects of yourself that you abandoned in an unhappy marriage

The top 4 reasons why some friendships don’t survive divorce

What it’s like for Terry to compare her personal experience with that of her clients

How to maintain the friendships that are important to you after a divorce

Why people self-isolate to avoid pity or social awkwardness during a divorce

Best practices for finding a new partner after divorce (without repeating the same mistakes)

Why intentional communication is crucial in creating a successful stepfamily 

Terry’s best advice for practicing positive communication

Connect with Terry Gaspard

Moving Past Divorce 

Moving Past Divorce on Facebook 

Moving Past Divorce on Twitter 

Terry on LinkedIn

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

The post Maintaining Friendships After a Divorce With Terry Gaspard appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Carol Davidson

How to Transform Your Self-Esteem After a Divorce

Divorce can be extremely depleting and a time where most people find their self esteem to be at its lowest. Though, it can also be an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves. So, how can we get back to feeling good for ourselves after a divorce?

Carol Davidson is a seasoned and certified image consultant, life coach, speaker, and educator who has helped thousands of people over the last 20 years to transform their appearance, wardrobe and self-esteem. She consults with private and corporate clients worldwide, offering a full suite of image consulting, personal styling, and life coaching services. 

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Carol joins Katherine to share her tips and tools to not only become comfortable and confident in your own skin. She explains what image consulting is and how clothing has the power to impact how you feel about yourself, affecting your moods, confidence and performance. Listen in for Carole’s insight on how to look and feel your best inside and out, even after a divorce. 

Topics Covered 

What an image consultant does and why people seek out for one

How your inside can impact your outside and vise versa 

How Carol got into image consulting

Tools that Carol uses when helping clients transform how they feel inside and out

Why image consulting doesn’t involve a “makeover” 

How to get started in building your confidence following a divorce  

Signs that it’s time to get an image consultant

The differences between an Image Consultant VS a Personal Stylist

Tips for a wardrobe refresh post divorce

Connect with Carol Davidson

Carol Davidson

Carol Davidson on Facebook

Carol Davidson on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

The post How to Transform Your Self-Esteem After a Divorce With Carol Davidson appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Dr. Joli Hamilton

Creating a Healthy Monogamous or Consensually Non-monogamous Life

You can be in a relationship without settling for a boring life and sacrificing your desire for stability and depth of connection. Instead, there are ways to bring a creative approach to your relationship and life as a whole, resulting in years of love and happiness. 

Dr. Joli Hamilton is a relationship coach, research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator who coaches people and couples who color outside the lines, helping them create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves. Joli is also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur’s Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love. 

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Joli joins Katherine to share how to create a creatively monogamous or consensually non-monogamous life. She explains how to keep a healthy and trustworthy relationship and why a non-monogamous relationship can be a helpful option for people. Listen in for Dr. Joli’s insight on creating an enjoyable and sustainable relationship, whether it be monogamous or non-monogamous, and learn which option is best for you.

Topics Covered 

How Dr. Joli got into this field after going through a divorce herself

What Dr. Joli has learned from her personal experiences

Dr. Joli’s insight on marriage counseling

How flexibility in a relationship can be key for some people

The power in having self-trust in a relationship

How to have conversations that don’t drive you and your partner apart

Where people get stuck in an unconventional relationship

The research behind people with a non-monogamous lifestyle

Dr. Joli’s advice on transitioning to a creative relationship

How Dr. Joli defines success in a relationship

Connect with Dr. Joli Hamilton

Joli Hamilton Website

Joli Hamilton on Facebook

Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur’s Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

The post Creating a Healthy Monogamous or Consensually Non-monogamous Life With Dr. Joli Hamilton appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Ilyssa Panitz

5 Things You Need to Know to Survive Divorce

Everyone has a different experience with divorce and different ways of working through the process. But we can learn from each other’s experiences and lean on seasoned divorce professionals to survive the process and even thrive in the aftermath of divorce.

An accomplished journalist with a 25-year career covering news and entertainment, Ilyssa Panitz combined her personal and professional experience to become the only divorce columnist solely committed to helping others navigate this major life transition. She writes a daily column on all things divorce for Authority Magazine on Medium and serves as Host and Executive Producer of The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Ilyssa joins Katherine to share her list of 5 things you need to know to survive and thrive—during and after divorce. She explains why your anger works against you in divorce negotiations and what to do about it, challenging us NOT to get hung up on the minutiae of who gets what. Listen in for Ilyssa’s insight on building a team of divorce professionals and find out why you should fantasize about what you want your life to look like post-divorce.

Topics Covered 

How Ilyssa combined her personal and professional experience to become a divorce journalist

Ilyssa’s 5 things you need to know to survive and thrive during and after divorce

Why Ilyssa recommends taking an acting class to navigate divorce negotiations

How your anger works against you in divorce negotiations and what to do about it 

What Ilyssa has learned from writing her column and how it’s helped her heal from her own divorce

Why it’s better to build a team than to rely on your lawyer for all things divorce (and what those relationships should look like)

The danger of getting hung up in the minutiae of stuff and money during divorce negotiations 

Why it’s helpful to fantasize about what you want your life to look like post-divorce

Ilyssa’s advice on learning as much as you can about your financials to prepare for divorce 

Connect with Ilyssa Panitz

The Divorce Reporter

The Divorce Hour Podcast

Ilyssa on Medium

Ilyssa on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

The post 5 Things You Need to Know to Survive Divorce With Ilyssa Panitz appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Dr. Kristin Neff

Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce

Self-criticism is a natural response to divorce. But it’s not particularly helpful.

In fact, it’s harder to learn from a place of shame and judgement, whereas self-compassion helps us cope more effectively and make better choices moving forward.

A pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff currently serves as Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and coauthor of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive. Dr. Neff’s new release is Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Neff joins Katherine to explain how self-compassion helps us navigate painful experiences like divorce. She walks us through the three components of self-compassion, describing how the practice allows us to cope with the hurt and take responsibility for our mistakes. Listen in as Dr. Neff shares what she learned about self-compassion in her own divorce and learn to treat yourself with kindness and improve your wellbeing in the process of divorce. 

Topics Covered  

The 3 components of self-compassion (mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity)

Why people who are self-compassionate about divorce cope more effectively than those who beat themselves up 

How self-compassion helps us take personal responsibility for our mistakes

How mindfulness allows us to acknowledge the pain of divorce without getting lost in it

The power in realizing that challenging relationships are part of being human

Giving yourself honest, constructive feedback around how to make wiser choices moving forward

What Dr. Neff learned about herself and self-compassion in her own divorce

How self-compassion can help divorced parents navigate the holidays

How being compassionate to ourselves gives us the resources to be more compassionate to others 

How self-kindness activates the parasympathetic nervous system and improves decision-making 

Connect with Dr. Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion 

Dr. Neff on Facebook

Dr. Neff on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Take the Self-Compassion Test

Self-Compassion Guided Practices

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer 

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff

The post Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce With Dr. Kristin Neff appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Dr. Kathryn Smerling

Making the Holidays Magical for Your Children After a Divorce

The holidays are a particularly challenging time for divorced parents.

How do we navigate our own feelings of loss without passing that heartache onto our children? Can we create new traditions and still make the holidays a magical time for our kids?

Dr. Kathryn Smerling is an educator and psychologist with a Ph.D. from Fordham University and Master’s from Cornell. She started her career as an early childhood educator, creating the Instep curriculum for preschoolers in the State of New Mexico before completing the psychoanalytic program at the National Institute for Psychotherapies. Dr. Smerling has maintained a private practice as a family therapist in Manhattan since 1998, and she holds certificates in Divorce Mediation, Divorce Collaboration and Relational Therapy. 

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Smerling joins Katherine to explain what divorced parents can do to navigate feelings of loss during the holidays and find new ways to celebrate with their children. She discusses why it’s crucial for coparents to be collaborative and offers advice on how to approach holiday planning with a difficult ex-spouse. Listen in for Dr. Smerling’s insight around religion as a source of conflict for coparents during the holidays and learn how to talk to your children about creating new traditions after a divorce.

Topics Covered 

What divorced parents can do to navigate feelings of loss during the holidays

Dr. Smerling’s advice on finding new ways to celebrate the holidays after a divorce

Why it’s crucial for coparents to be flexible and collaborative re: holiday plans 

Why Dr. Smerling suggests including children in creating new traditions

The pros and cons of alternating holidays and examples of creative alternatives

How to approach holiday planning with a high-conflict ex-spouse

Using the BIFF system (Brief, Informative, Firm and Friendly) to communicate with a difficult coparent 

How religion can be a source a conflict for divorced parents around the holidays

The role a parenting coordinator can play in making holiday plans

Dr. Smerling’s advice for divorced parents facing the holidays for the first time

Connect with Dr. Kathryn Smerling

Dr. Smerling’s Website

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Resources

Ackerman Institute for the Family 

National Institute for Psychotherapies

The post Making the Holidays Magical for Your Children After a Divorce With Dr. Kathryn Smerling appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Raiford Dalton Palmer

Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court

Are you dreaming of having your day in divorce court? Of exposing your spouse’s misbehavior to a sympathetic judge? Of winning the case and being rewarded financially? 

Then you are going to be sorely disappointed. The truth is, the court system cares little about your spouse’s wrongdoing. And the cost of litigation (in terms of money and mental health) far outweighs any potential reward.

So, what do you need to consider before you file for divorce?

Raiford Dalton Palmer, JD, AAML, serves as Managing Shareholder at STG Divorce Law, a top family law firm based in the Chicagoland area. Raiford’s team has expertise in complex divorce cases, specifically those involving business owners and high-net-worth individuals. Raiford is also the author of the bestseller I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money and Minds.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Raiford joins Katherine to explore the common myth that court is the best way to resolve a divorce and explain why there are no winners in a litigated divorce. He describes a divorce lawyer’s responsibility to provide clients with a sober analysis of potential outcomes and help people set realistic expectations around the divorce process. Listen in for Raiford’s insight on choosing among litigation, mediation and the collaborative process and learn how to bring a business mindset to divorce for the best possible result long term.

Topics Covered 

What inspired Raiford to write I Just Want This Done as resource for divorce

Why it’s crucial to know your goals and set realistic expectations for the divorce process

The common myth that court is the best way to resolve a divorce case

Why there are no winners in a litigated divorce

A divorce lawyer’s responsibility to provide clients with a sober analysis of potential outcomes

How the justice system was not set up to deal with family issues

Why a spouse’s misbehavior almost never impacts the financial outcome of a divorce

Bringing a business mindset to the divorce process

Why Raiford recommends working with a divorce coach and lawyer

Choosing among litigation, mediation and the collaborative divorce process

Connect with Raiford Dalton Palmer

I Just Want This Done 

STG Divorce Law on Facebook

Raiford on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money and Minds by Raiford Dalton Palmer, JD, AAML

The post Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court With Raiford Dalton Palmer appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Paulette Rigo

The Blueprint for a Better Divorce

Technology makes it easy for divorcing couples to express their anger and frustration without thinking. They engage in text warfare and even post disparaging comments on social media. 

But if the goal is to divorce with dignity, the way you communicate matters. So, what can you do to be less reactive and work through the entire process in a measured way? 

Paulette Rigo is the founder of Better Divorce Academy, a platform dedicated to helping people create an optimal divorce experience. Paulette is also a Certified Divorce Coach, Mediator, Transition and Recovery Coach, Career Transition Specialist and author of the Amazon bestseller, Better Divorce Blueprint: Divorce Made Smoother, Easier and Better for You and Your Family.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Paulette joins Katherine to explore the contemplation phase leading up to a divorce and explain how to decide whether divorce is right for you. She describes what a successful divorce looks like and offers insight into the most common mistakes women make in the early stages of divorce. Listen in for Paulette’s advice on choosing the right divorce process and learn how to communicate with your soon-to-be ex in a way that mitigates conflict and maintains your dignity.

Topics Covered 

How to decide if divorce is right for you

What steps to take in the pre-divorce contemplation phase

Why Paulette’s own divorce turned into an 8-year litigated experience

What a successful divorce looks like

Conducting yourself in a way you feel good about throughout the divorce process

The common mistakes women make in the early stages of divorce

Why you should never send a text or post on social media when you’re angry

The BIFF strategy for communicating with a soon-to-be ex

The role trust plays in a successful mediation 

How to choose the right divorce process 

Connect with Paulette Rigo

Better Divorce Academy 

Better Divorce Academy on Facebook 

Paulette on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller 

The Center for Understanding in Conflict 

Miller Law Group 

Katherine on LinkedIn 

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller 

Email katherine@miller-law.com 

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Better Divorce Blueprint: Divorce Made Smoother, Easier and Better for You and Your Family by Paulette Rodrigo 

Thriving in Chaos Project Podcast 

Bill Eddy

The post The Blueprint for a Better Divorce With Paulette Rigo appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce

When the marriage of a high-profile, celebrity couple comes to an end, there are complexities that make it very different from your average divorce. On the other hand, a divorce is a divorce—regardless of the net worth of the people involved. 

So, how is a high-profile divorce similar to any other divorce? And how is it different?

Harriet Newman Cohen and Martha Cohen Stine are the mother-daughter team of attorneys behind Cohen Stine Kapoor LLP, a family law firm based in New York City. Harriet has served on the New York State Commission on Child Support and the Foster Care Commission of the City of New York, and Martha is a member of the Executive Committee of the Family Law Section of the New York State Bar Association and the Board of Directors of the New York American Inn of Court. Both Harriet and Martha have been recognized by Super Lawyers as one of NYC’s Top 50 Female Lawyers.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Harriet and Martha join Katherine to discuss the heightened issues around publicity and confidentiality associated with celebrity divorce. They explore the opportunity to develop a creative settlement for high-net-worth families and explain why the language of such an agreement should be as clear as possible in any divorce. Listen in for Harriet and Martha’s experiences in divorce cases involving a female breadwinner and find out why equitable distribution isn’t always equal, especially in a high-profile divorce.

Topics Covered 

How a high-profile divorce is similar to and different from the average divorce

The heightened issues of publicity and confidentiality associated with a celebrity divorce

Why the language of a settlement agreement should be as clear as possible in any divorce

The opportunity to develop a creative settlement agreement for high-net-worth families 

Harriet & Martha’s experiences in cases where a woman was the sole income earner

Harriet & Martha’s take on the prejudice against stay-at-home dads in the court system

Why equitable distribution is not necessarily equal in a high-net-worth divorce

Connect with Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

Cohen Stein Kapoor LLP

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@miller-law.com

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Scenes from a Marriage

The post What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce With Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.