Divorce Perspectives &#8211; Divorce Dialogues

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

The post Maintaining Friendships After a Divorce With Terry Gaspard appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Creating a Healthy Monogamous or Consensually Non-monogamous Life With Dr. Joli Hamilton

Katherine Miller — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 00:27:13 +0000

EP: 168

Dr. Joli Hamilton

Creating a Healthy Monogamous or Consensually Non-monogamous Life

Divorce Dialogues · Creating a Healthy Monogamous or Consensually Non-monogamous Life With Dr. Joli Hamilton

You can be in a relationship without settling for a boring life and sacrificing your desire for stability and depth of connection. Instead, there are ways to bring a creative approach to your relationship and life as a whole, resulting in years of love and happiness.

Dr. Joli Hamilton is a relationship coach, research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator who coaches people and couples who color outside the lines, helping them create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves. Joli is also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur’s Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Joli joins Katherine to share how to create a creatively monogamous or consensually non-monogamous life. She explains how to keep a healthy and trustworthy relationship and why a non-monogamous relationship can be a helpful option for people. Listen in for Dr. Joli’s insight on creating an enjoyable and sustainable relationship, whether it be monogamous or non-monogamous, and learn which option is best for you.

Topics Covered

How Dr. Joli got into this field after going through a divorce herself

What Dr. Joli has learned from her personal experiences

Dr. Joli’s insight on marriage counseling

How flexibility in a relationship can be key for some people

The power in having self-trust in a relationship

How to have conversations that don’t drive you and your partner apart

Where people get stuck in an unconventional relationship

The research behind people with a non-monogamous lifestyle

Dr. Joli’s advice on transitioning to a creative relationship

How Dr. Joli defines success in a relationship

Connect with Dr. Joli Hamilton

Joli Hamilton Website

Joli Hamilton on Facebook

Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur’s Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love

Connect with Katherine Miller

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Divorce Dialogues · 5 Things You Need to Know to Survive Divorce With Ilyssa Panitz

Call (914) 862-7487

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5 Things You Need to Know to Survive Divorce With Ilyssa Panitz

Katherine Miller — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 20:57:10 +0000

EP: 167

Ilyssa Panitz

5 Things You Need to Know to Survive Divorce

Everyone has a different experience with divorce and different ways of working through the process. But we can learn from each other’s experiences and lean on seasoned divorce professionals to survive the process and even thrive in the aftermath of divorce.

An accomplished journalist with a 25-year career covering news and entertainment, Ilyssa Panitz combined her personal and professional experience to become the only divorce columnist solely committed to helping others navigate this major life transition. She writes a daily column on all things divorce for Authority Magazine on Medium and serves as Host and Executive Producer of The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Ilyssa joins Katherine to share her list of 5 things you need to know to survive and thrive—during and after divorce. She explains why your anger works against you in divorce negotiations and what to do about it, challenging us NOT to get hung up on the minutiae of who gets what. Listen in for Ilyssa’s insight on building a team of divorce professionals and find out why you should fantasize about what you want your life to look like post-divorce.

Topics Covered

How Ilyssa combined her personal and professional experience to become a divorce journalist

Ilyssa’s 5 things you need to know to survive and thrive during and after divorce

Why Ilyssa recommends taking an acting class to navigate divorce negotiations

How your anger works against you in divorce negotiations and what to do about it

What Ilyssa has learned from writing her column and how it’s helped her heal from her own divorce

Why it’s better to build a team than to rely on your lawyer for all things divorce (and what those relationships should look like)

The danger of getting hung up in the minutiae of stuff and money during divorce negotiations

Why it’s helpful to fantasize about what you want your life to look like post-divorce

Ilyssa’s advice on learning as much as you can about your financials to prepare for divorce

Connect with Ilyssa Panitz

The Divorce Reporter

The Divorce Hour Podcast

Ilyssa on Medium

Ilyssa on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Divorce Dialogues · Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce With Dr. Kristin Neff

Call (914) 862-7487

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Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce With Dr. Kristin Neff

Katherine Miller — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 19:53:39 +0000

EP: 166

Dr. Kristin Neff

Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce

Self-criticism is a natural response to divorce. But it’s not particularly helpful.

In fact, it’s harder to learn from a place of shame and judgement, whereas self-compassion helps us cope more effectively and make better choices moving forward.

A pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff currently serves as Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and coauthor of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive. Dr. Neff’s new release is Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Neff joins Katherine to explain how self-compassion helps us navigate painful experiences like divorce. She walks us through the three components of self-compassion, describing how the practice allows us to cope with the hurt and take responsibility for our mistakes. Listen in as Dr. Neff shares what she learned about self-compassion in her own divorce and learn to treat yourself with kindness and improve your wellbeing in the process of divorce.

Topics Covered

The 3 components of self-compassion (mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity)

Why people who are self-compassionate about divorce cope more effectively than those who beat themselves up

How self-compassion helps us take personal responsibility for our mistakes

How mindfulness allows us to acknowledge the pain of divorce without getting lost in it

The power in realizing that challenging relationships are part of being human

Giving yourself honest, constructive feedback around how to make wiser choices moving forward

What Dr. Neff learned about herself and self-compassion in her own divorce

How self-compassion can help divorced parents navigate the holidays

How being compassionate to ourselves gives us the resources to be more compassionate to others

How self-kindness activates the parasympathetic nervous system and improves decision-making

Connect with Dr. Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion

Dr. Neff on Facebook

Dr. Neff on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Take the Self-Compassion Test

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Self-Compassion Guided Practices

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff

The post Leveraging Self-Compassion to Cope with Divorce With Dr. Kristin Neff appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court With Raiford Dalton Palmer

Katherine Miller — Fri, 19 Nov 2021 16:44:57 +0000

EP: 164

Raiford Dalton Palmer

Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court

Divorce Dialogues · Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court With Raiford Dalton Palmer

Are you dreaming of having your day in divorce court? Of exposing your spouse’s misbehavior to a sympathetic judge? Of winning the case and being rewarded financially?

Then you are going to be sorely disappointed. The truth is, the court system cares little about your spouse’s wrongdoing. And the cost of litigation (in terms of money and mental health) far outweighs any potential reward.

So, what do you need to consider before you file for divorce?

Raiford Dalton Palmer, JD, AAML, serves as Managing Shareholder at STG Divorce Law, a top family law firm based in the Chicagoland area. Raiford’s team has expertise in complex divorce cases, specifically those involving business owners and high-net-worth individuals. Raiford is also the author of the bestseller I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money and Minds.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Raiford joins Katherine to explore the common myth that court is the best way to resolve a divorce and explain why there are no winners in a litigated divorce. He describes a divorce lawyer’s responsibility to provide clients with a sober analysis of potential outcomes and help people set realistic expectations around the divorce process. Listen in for Raiford’s insight on choosing among litigation, mediation and the collaborative process and learn how to bring a business mindset to divorce for the best possible result long term.

Topics Covered

What inspired Raiford to write I Just Want This Done as resource for divorce

Why it’s crucial to know your goals and set realistic expectations for the divorce process

The common myth that court is the best way to resolve a divorce case

Why there are no winners in a litigated divorce

A divorce lawyer’s responsibility to provide clients with a sober analysis of potential outcomes

How the justice system was not set up to deal with family issues

Why a spouse’s misbehavior almost never impacts the financial outcome of a divorce

Bringing a business mindset to the divorce process

Why Raiford recommends working with a divorce coach and lawyer

Choosing among litigation, mediation and the collaborative divorce process

Connect with Raiford Dalton Palmer

I Just Want This Done

STG Divorce Law on Facebook

Raiford on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money and Minds by Raiford Dalton Palmer, JD, AAML

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

The post Why There Are No Winners in Divorce Court With Raiford Dalton Palmer appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

The Blueprint for a Better Divorce With Paulette Rigo

Katherine Miller — Fri, 05 Nov 2021 15:10:40 +0000

EP: 163

Paulette Rigo

The Blueprint for a Better Divorce

Divorce Dialogues · The Blueprint for a Better Divorce With Paulette Rigo

Technology makes it easy for divorcing couples to express their anger and frustration without thinking. They engage in text warfare and even post disparaging comments on social media.

But if the goal is to divorce with dignity, the way you communicate matters. So, what can you do to be less reactive and work through the entire process in a measured way?

Paulette Rigo is the founder of Better Divorce Academy, a platform dedicated to helping people create an optimal divorce experience. Paulette is also a Certified Divorce Coach, Mediator, Transition and Recovery Coach, Career Transition Specialist and author of the Amazon bestseller, Better Divorce Blueprint: Divorce Made Smoother, Easier and Better for You and Your Family.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Paulette joins Katherine to explore the contemplation phase leading up to a divorce and explain how to decide whether divorce is right for you. She describes what a successful divorce looks like and offers insight into the most common mistakes women make in the early stages of divorce. Listen in for Paulette’s advice on choosing the right divorce process and learn how to communicate with your soon-to-be ex in a way that mitigates conflict and maintains your dignity.

Topics Covered

How to decide if divorce is right for you

What steps to take in the pre-divorce contemplation phase

Why Paulette’s own divorce turned into an 8-year litigated experience

What a successful divorce looks like

Conducting yourself in a way you feel good about throughout the divorce process

The common mistakes women make in the early stages of divorce

Why you should never send a text or post on social media when you’re angry

The BIFF strategy for communicating with a soon-to-be ex

The role trust plays in a successful mediation

How to choose the right divorce process

Connect with Paulette Rigo

Better Divorce Academy

Better Divorce Academy on Facebook

Paulette on Twitter

Connect with Katherine Miller

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Better Divorce Blueprint: Divorce Made Smoother, Easier and Better for You and Your Family by Paulette Rodrigo

Call (914) 862-7487

Resources

Thriving in Chaos Project Podcast

Bill Eddy

The post The Blueprint for a Better Divorce With Paulette Rigo appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce With Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

Katherine Miller — Fri, 22 Oct 2021 22:05:22 +0000

EP: 162

Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce

Divorce Dialogues · What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce With Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

When the marriage of a high-profile, celebrity couple comes to an end, there are complexities that make it very different from your average divorce. On the other hand, a divorce is a divorce—regardless of the net worth of the people involved.

So, how is a high-profile divorce similar to any other divorce? And how is it different?

Harriet Newman Cohen and Martha Cohen Stine are the mother-daughter team of attorneys behind Cohen Stine Kapoor LLP, a family law firm based in New York City. Harriet has served on the New York State Commission on Child Support and the Foster Care Commission of the City of New York, and Martha is a member of the Executive Committee of the Family Law Section of the New York State Bar Association and the Board of Directors of the New York American Inn of Court. Both Harriet and Martha have been recognized by Super Lawyers as one of NYC’s Top 50 Female Lawyers.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Harriet and Martha join Katherine to discuss the heightened issues around publicity and confidentiality associated with celebrity divorce. They explore the opportunity to develop a creative settlement for high-net-worth families and explain why the language of such an agreement should be as clear as possible in any divorce. Listen in for Harriet and Martha’s experiences in divorce cases involving a female breadwinner and find out why equitable distribution isn’t always equal, especially in a high-profile divorce.

Topics Covered

How a high-profile divorce is similar to and different from the average divorce

The heightened issues of publicity and confidentiality associated with a celebrity divorce

Why the language of a settlement agreement should be as clear as possible in any divorce

The opportunity to develop a creative settlement agreement for high-net-worth families

Harriet & Martha’s experiences in cases where a woman was the sole income earner

Harriet & Martha’s take on the prejudice against stay-at-home dads in the court system

Why equitable distribution is not necessarily equal in a high-net-worth divorce

Connect with Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine

Cohen Stein Kapoor LLP

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Divorce Dialogues · Divorcing a Narcissist in Mediation With Brian James

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Scenes from a Marriage

The post What Differentiates a High-Profile Divorce With Harriet Newman Cohen & Martha Cohen Stine appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Divorcing a Narcissist in Mediation With Brian James

Katherine Miller — Fri, 16 Jul 2021 14:35:35 +0000

EP: 155

Brian James

Divorcing a Narcissist in Mediation

How do you negotiate with someone who has to be right? If you’re divorcing a narcissist, you know that they simply can’t see things from someone else’s point of view. So, how do you come to an equitable divorce agreement? And is mediation an appropriate option for divorcing a narcissist?

Brian James is the founder of CEL & Associates, a mediation practice with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. An experienced divorce and family mediator, Brian spent ten years resolving family conflicts in the criminal justice system before starting CEL & Associates in 2005. Brian is dedicated to helping clients come to an agreement outside the courtroom, creating a win-win situation for all involved in a divorce.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Brian joins Katherine to explain how to know if you’re married to a narcissist, describing what gaslighting looks like and how it makes you feel. He shares his approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process and discusses how he decides when mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple. Listen in for Brian’s insight on persuading a narcissist to try mediation and learn his top strategies for surviving a high-conflict divorce.

Topics Covered

How to know if you’re married to a narcissist (and why it’s hard to tell early on)

What it looks like when a narcissist is gaslighting you and how it makes you feel

How narcissists lack the capacity for empathy

Brian’s approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process

Why it’s crucial to come to a detailed, air-tight agreement if you’re divorcing a narcissist

How Brian determines whether mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple

Brian’s strategies for surviving divorce mediation with a high-conflict spouse

The narcissist’s inability to engage in respectful disagreement

How to persuade your spouse to try divorce mediation rather than go to court

How attorneys can support the mediation process when a narcissist is involved

Connect with Brian James

CEL & Associates

CEL on Facebook

CEL on Twitter

Call (312) 524-5829

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Divorce Dialogues · 8 Strategies to Make the Divorce Process Easier with Robin Gardner

Call (914) 738-776

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8 Strategies to Make the Divorce Process Easier With Robin Gardner

Katherine Miller — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 16:03:09 +0000

EP: 153

Robin Gardner

8 Strategies to Make the Divorce Process Easier

Divorce puts you at the intersection of what was and what will be. And while you will feel anger and sadness in the process, what you do with those feelings is up to you. Will you get stuck in those negative emotions and let them drive you? Or will you take advantage of this opportunity to reassess who you want to be and grow into your Best Self?

Robin Gardner is the Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Professional Coach behind The Divorce Coach Robin and Phoenix Life Mastery. She leverages 17 years of experience to help people avoid the most common mistakes in divorce, reduce conflict and make informed decisions throughout the process. Robin offers a free, 30-minute consultation for prospective clients to share their biggest concerns and get a sense of how she can support you.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Robin joins Katherine to share her top eight strategies for making the divorce process easier, explaining how to connect with your Best Self and identify what you value. She challenges us to be more loving and compassionate toward ourselves and reframe our divorce story in a more empowering way. Listen in for Robin’s insight on the power of a calming breath and learn how to use your divorce to reassess what you want and begin a new, more fulfilling life.

Topics Covered

Robin’s top 8 strategies for making the divorce process easier

How to connect with your Best Self and limit the power of your ego

Why playing the blame game in divorce doesn’t serve anyone

What Robin does to help people define their needs and meet them

Forgiving yourself for divorce and allowing happiness + pleasure into your life

How to be more loving and compassionate toward yourself through a divorce

How to reframe your story in a more empowering way

The power of a calming breath to help you think more clearly

Robin’s advice on taking small action steps to create forward movement

Why it’s advantageous to work with a divorce coach vs. a therapist

Connect with Robin Gardner

Book a Free 30-Minute Consult with Robin

The Divorce Coach Robin

Divorce Coach Robin on Facebook

Divorce Coach Robin on Twitter

Email robin@thedivorcecoachrobin.com

Call (201) 612-6700

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller