Maintaining Presence and Connection in a Virtual World with Nancy Colier

Katherine Miller — Wed, 09 Aug 2017 01:00:57 +0000

EP: 053

Nancy Colier

Maintaining Presence and Connection in a Virtual World

Is your phone more interesting than your husband?

75% of people say that technology seriously impacts their relationships. Thus, the very thing that is supposed to help us feel more connected is hindering our connections with the people who really matter—the ones right there in front of us.

In addition to her roles as a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, mindfulness teacher and relationship coach, Nancy Colier is the author of The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World. Nancy is a sought-after public speaker on the topics of wellbeing, mindfulness and technology, and she has been featured on Good Morning America and in The New York Times. She writes regular columns for Huffington Post and Psychology Today, and Nancy serves as a frequent guest on On Point Talk.

Today, Nancy joins Katherine to share the ways that technology brings out the least evolved aspects of ourselves. She explains the addictive nature of checking messages as well as the concept of phubbing, snubbing someone in favor of your phone. Nancy discusses how our expectations for relationships have changed based on the constant stimulation provided by technology and why we actually want to be pulled out of the present moment by our smartphones. Listen in for Nancy’s insight on leveraging mindfulness in the onslaught of technology and learn how to broach the subject of full presence with the people close to you.

Topics Covered

How our relationship with technology doesn’t support a ‘good life’

Technology’s dramatic impact on families and intimate relationships

How technology brings out the least evolved aspects of ourselves

Comparison with others
Narcissism

The addictive nature of checking messages

The concept of phubbing

How expectations for relationships have changed based on the constant stimulation of tech

Why people want to be pulled out of the moment

Never have to deal with stillness, self
Always something to pay attention to

How to leverage mindfulness in the onslaught of technology

The necessity of becoming more awake in our own lives

Nancy’s advice around broaching the subject of being fully present

Dating After Divorce with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Katherine Miller — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 01:00:21 +0000

EP: 051

Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Dating After Divorce

If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while now, the landscape may seem like a brave new world. Dating apps offer endless possibilities—and overwhelm. Not to mention the fact that you are sorting through your own feelings after a divorce and working to reshape your very identity. It’s complicated to say the least.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. She is regular blogger for Psychology Today and the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want. Dr. Solomon is a renowned speaker and media consultant on topics related to love, sex and marriage, and she has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Network, The Today Show and NPR, among many others.

Dr. Solomon joins Katherine to discuss how dating has evolved in recent years with the emergence of apps geared to finding love. She explains why it’s important to work through the story of your marriage and focus on yourself before you return to the dating world. Dr. Solomon offers her best advice around dating after divorce, describing the value in processing these experiences on your own before you debrief with a friend. Listen in for Dr. Solomon’s take on sexual experiences that nurture connection as well as her view on casual sex for the newly single.

Topics Covered

The use of technology to find love

Dr. Solomon’s guidance around dating apps

No obligation to use
Slow and steady
Means to an end

How to cut through the ‘chorus of opinions’ and check in with yourself

How therapy can help you work through the story of your marriage

The risks around ‘getting stuck in the heartbreak’

Dr. Solomon’s tips for dating after divorce

Practice self-compassion
Process experience on your own

The natural tendency to look for a romantic partner and co-parent

Why it’s dangerous to think in terms of absolutes

Dr. Solomon’s insight on sexual experiences that nurture connection

Dr. Solomon’s take on casual sex for the newly single

Connect with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Dr. Solomon’s Website

Resources

Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Smart Dating Academy

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn

The post Dating After Divorce with Dr. Alexandra Solomon appeared first on Divorce Dialogues.

Tech – Divorce Dialogues

Maintaining Presence and Connection in a Virtual World with Nancy Colier

Nancy Colier